Monday, 21 September 2009

Tour Blog #1

So, we have been lacklustre with the blog, to say the least. We are eight days in to tour, sitting in the hotel in Zilina, Slovakia, a country that is new to all of us (nearly). We'll give you the rest of the story in the next couple of days. This, however, will give you a little taster of the first few days:

-robin got into a car with a child of baccus who drove surprisingly well.
-all got baked in lush daylight-main-street-shop-window-euphoria.
-kit had friendly smile exchanged with tattooed dutch man in next door car, only noticing him fingering the big black switch blade afterwards.
-fuzzy wuzzy was a bear but fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasnt fuzzy was he?
-everyone woops in drum breakdowns; try it.
-beautiful grey cat named 'chateau neuf', sat on kits lap. didnt come to bed though. jumped out of window.
-cat in polish is kot.
-Dawid in polish is "puszczac kaczki".
-birthday ben. got chocolate coins + chocolate milk + chocolate cake...
-haircut crazy-razor-happy-happy-go-go-hugo; not much hair left. looks like a disolusioned monk.
-its monk time.
-that wizard outfit. sticks.
-supermarket fun times. sam=pate. kit=chorizo. hugo=endless cous-cous-cous-cous-cous-cous-cous-cous.
-heavy Leffe.
-nazi surfers must die.
-new 'whyangle?' stage formation is a winner.
-joni mitchell
-jody is still alive by the good grace of parma ham.
-3 day tweek. speaks volumes; prose?

ok, so that was the first three days, sorry for the lack of clarity. lots has happened since then however. Berlin happened infact. a great show with a soundman called stephan that called us consistently on our traffic-filled journey asking us ridiculous questions such as "do your toms go from a high one to a low one?". Hugo combated the on-setting 'teak' caused by stephan's bizarre panicky voice emanating from the phone by tactfully holding it at arms length for the majority of the conversation...the night turned out to be great and then turned rather dark, but in a good way. To sum things up; robin, jake and myself were standing in the venue's courtyard, feeling already particularly horrified at the night's proceedings...we noticed the powerful pitter patter of someone relieving them-self out of a third story window; a moment later sam's demonic grin glared back at us, eyes glazed we realised he was sleeping and sure enough he has absolutely no recollection. Despite this Sam isn't exactly ashamed of the events in Berlin, and now i think about it perhaps that grin was less demonic and more self-congratulatory.
We woke up in a showerless band flat and within an hour half of our number had thrown up, including our driver David. Continuing in this fashion throughout the day he managed quite heroically to fill much of the hard shoulder of Polish roads with all the debauchery Berlin was able to squeeze into his stomach. Simultaneously Sam threw a boulder at a tree and Ben called it "Bark-Psychosis". I bought a pellet gun and shot it at Sam's nipples. Robin and Ben gave up their dignity to the addictive power of championship manager. David Attenborough told us to take better care of the polar bears...and none of us noticed the warning light on the van meaning we ran out of petrol and spent an interesting hour standing next to a swamp 20 kilometres from our destination. Sam wore a florescent safety jacket; with shorts.

The first show in Poland was amazing. we all got hungry afterwards though and some of the standard-less members of the band mentioned "Mcdonalds". We were all saved however by Dawid traipsing us around all of his favourite yet continuously closed restaurants untill we put a 'fishburger' in our faces and all enjoyed saying "Helios fish-grill". boring.
Warsaw was great. lots of pretty girls dancing, lots of cherry vodka, a broken bass string and a club afterwards that projected 70's hardcore porn all over our drunken faces. less boring.
Krakow was a doner kebap pizza for hugo and a lovely but energy-less show. We slept in a Kenya themed hotel room. A KENYA THEMED HOTEL ROOM. Give me a fucking break. We all slept well though, apart from Sam, who is worried its because it wasn't drunk. He's also worried/excited that there are bears in polish woods. Dawid probably thinks he's being racist. He's not, he just a sleeping window pisser.
Today we played in a 'converted train station' though a train arrived on the platform just before we went on stage and I'm shore someone that got off it came to the show. Slovakia has their drink driving problem sorted. everyone started watching the show seated and by the end the whole room was dancing. We had the pieces of a manikin spread across the stage. we drank beer with cinnamon in it and wished another train would arrive. It didnt, so we came back to our sweet hotel and wrote this blog. Sam's eyeing up our waste hight widow as i write this.

I'll do my best to update this very shortly, and maybe have some photos too...oh wait, no, all my belongings we're incinerated in Berlin. deal with it.

speak soon,


  1. KIT,
    Good reading this stuff. Might be out in yr country in DEC (ask Al for hushhush details.) If so, let's hang out. Maybe do a reading?
    -Adam (Gnade)

  2. And by "a reading" I mean get drunk and act stupid. Yeah.

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